Wow, these years are turning over like fruit in a blender. As the Italians say: here’s to years, lovers, and glasses of wine – these are things that should never be counted.
This year is a big one for me. It’s the first time in four years I’m celebrating my birthday in my home country. Building off the lists I created in Tel Aviv, Israel (focused on 27 high-level insights) and Cartagena, Colombia (28 specific tactics), I’m now adding 29 rules I can continue to remind myself about.
Currently typing this up in my favorite café in Hermosa Beach, CA, watching the world go by and trying to make sense of it all. These are just the mumble jumble musings of another guy trying to find his way through this rollercoaster we call life. Some might resonate, some might not. Either way, here’s what I’m telling myself these days:
1. Don’t shrink yourself. To paraphrase my boy McConaughey: “So I’m full of myself? Well, who else should I be full of?” When you die, you’re not going to look back on your life and say damn I wish I was not myself more.
2. What you avoid controls you. If you think having uncomfortable conversations is hard, wait till you have the result of not having those conversations.
3. Remember the spotlight effect. We assume someone is analyzing or noticing us much more than they actually do. Most humans live in their own heads and are focused on their own insecurities, not judging you.
4. Imposter syndrome is a benefit, not a curse. If you feel this way: 1) Good, that means you’re hanging out with people brighter than you 2) Everybody gets this, and most of the time, people don’t even know when you’re feeling it (spotlight effect). So lean into it – embrace that beginner’s mindset, learn to color within the lines, and then you can start to color outside of them.
5. You are going to feel inadequate before you become capable. If I want to go to the gym I’m going to feel weak before I’m strong. If I go to class, I’m going to feel stupid before I’m smart. If I go hang out with wealthy people, I’m going to feel broke before I’m rich. The discomfort of being the worst in the room is the price of admission to getting better. Don’t settle for microwaved results, put the work in.
6. Fall in love with the monotonous, small things to do the big things. Fall in love with landing an ollie, not the 360 off a rail. Fall in love with making a basic drum beat, not the platinum song. Fall in love with making a TikTok, not the Oscar-worthy movie. I’ll never get to do the big thing if I can’t get through the small stuff.
7. Recognize the taste gap. There’s often a gap between our current skills and tastes. Taste is what got us into creative work – we know what good looks like. This can make the work we do feel disappointing, but it’s also our North Star to make something better.
8. Stack days, even if it’s just 5 minutes. Even 5 minutes a day adds up. Keep stacking those days.
9. Embrace delusional optimism. If I knew how hard starting this particular company was, I never would have started. Maybe that’s why people with a higher IQ don’t often create companies – you need to be slightly delusional to start, but the optimism carries you through.
10. A watched pot never boils. If you keep checking the thing in the fucking oven, it’s never going to bake. And it’s definitely not gonna cook if you keep taking it out to change the ingredients, remix, and remake. Trust. The. Process.
11. Touch things once. If a solution takes less than 5-10 minutes, and you notice the problem, do it immediately. Don’t put things down until they are finished.
12. Pick one song and play it on repeat. Kinda psychotic, but when I need to focus on deep work, I often pick one song and play it on repeat. For basically the entire day (or whenever the thing I’m doing is done). Helps get into the zone.
13. Use music strategically to shift your mood. When you want a pick-me-up, listen to music in major keys – it’s more uplifting. Minor key music is more melancholic, but you can use it as a mental reset: listen to 5-10 minutes of minor key music, then switch to major key songs to change your mood and uplift yourself.
14. Set clear expectations. Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.
15. Use the Michelangelo Effect. Surround yourself with partners and friends who see your “ideal self” and help bring it out. The best relationships happen when everyone involved reminds each other of their potential.
16. Dance to the beat of your own drum. One of the most expensive costs in the world is caring about OPO (other people’s opinion). There is a great line from Rick and Morty that has always stuck with me about this. When all things were going wrong for Rick and he is getting berated, he claps back: “your boos mean nothing to me, I’ve seen what makes you people cheer.” Sometimes, to conduct your orchestra, you need to turn your back on the audience and focus on the music you’re playing.
17. Follow the 3 steps of your professional journey: 1) Get Fed 2) Feed Yourself 3) Feed Others. Learn, Earn, Return. Learn the Game. Win the Game. Coach the Game.
18. Understand that money is a lagging indicator. Money follows these 3 areas: Be the 1) Best at what you do 2) Have High Demand 3) Be Irreplaceable.
19. Think of money as gasoline on a road trip. You need gasoline to do the road trip, but you’re not doing a tour of gas stations.
20. There are 2 ways to price projects: Price to win or price for profit. Know which game you’re playing.
Price to win: Often happens when you’re bidding through a formal RFP, platform/portal, and/or when competition is fierce. Have a plan already in place to automate, delegate, or outsource at some point.
Price for profit: Happens when someone has worked with you before and likes you. Instead of a formal process, you can win contracts over an email, text, or beer. Celebrate and make sure to knock the project out of the park.
21. AI won’t take your job, but someone using AI will. Think of an accountant who didn’t want to use Excel when it came out. Accountants didn’t go out of business, but those who didn’t learn Excel did. Stay abreast of the latest tools.
22. Don’t let AI lose your ability to write. Calculators weren’t invented for you to forget basic math. You are (and always forever will want to be) a free thinker. Yes, you can use it to help expedite work emails. Yes, you can use it as a deck starter for a deliverable. Yes, it can pressure test and even clean up some of your thoughts. But to write on one’s own is to think. To have your own unique voice. To critique and analyze. You are still human. Don’t lose your ability to express yourself using your own words.
23. Pick your business partners like you’d pick a spouse. Follow the Buffett rule and look for 3 things: intelligence, energy, and integrity. By far the most important is integrity. If someone lacks this, the other 2 become dangerous.
24. Go on stag hunts, stop hunting rabbits. The bigger the dragon, the more epic the story.
25. Make decisions using the Head, Heart, and Gut Test. Run a body scan from top to bottom to determine if something is a good or bad decision. Look for clear yeses or nos. If any of the 3 tests fail, it’s a no.
26. Reduce your “should do” bucket. There are things you 1) need to do 2) want to do 3) should do. Having enough money means you can get rid of most of the “should do” bucket – all those obligations that drain your energy but don’t serve your goals or bring you joy. Financial freedom isn’t about buying more stuff, it’s about buying back your time from things you don’t actually want to be doing.
27. For at least one week of the year, track all your activities and mark them as “energy giving” or “energy sucking”. Bake in “bright lights” that you find are energy-giving and don’t cost much (from a timing perspective). For me, that’s stretching every morning and catching the sunset every evening.
28. Look for “Hic sunt leones” on the map of life. Go out into the unknown and face the danger head-on. Always remember: travel is not a reward from working, it’s an education for living.
29. Vivre au jour le jour – Live day by day. All we are guaranteed is the present – so hug your friends longer, sip that coffee slowly, and squeeze every drop of juice from life.
Mitch's Blog 